


Nothing Exciting happens at PTA Meetings

by squeakyparrot



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Brownies, Established Relationship, Gen, LaFerry - Freeform, Misgendering, Multi, OT3, Other, PTA Meeting, Polyamory, Slice of Life, Unconventional Families, by a jerk, hollenstein, some phobic ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squeakyparrot/pseuds/squeakyparrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every school has one.  They're all fairly the same.  Nothing ever *really* happens during PTA meetings but there's always one shining light.  The Brownies.   (Slice of Life fic, LaFerry with a smidge of OT3 )</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Exciting happens at PTA Meetings

Carmilla muttered not-so-quietly to not-quite-herself while she squirmed on a hard wooden chair for the hundredth time.  "Remind me Why can't I just go chill out in the room with all those big blue mats?  Or better yet, in the car?  Or better than that, at home?"  
  
Laura clenched her teeth and stopped her recording (again) to look at her wife, "You are sitting your old butt down on that even older chair because we agreed to be active parents. And because being an active parent means helping with the PTA."  Carmilla snorted and rolled her eyes, which Laura ignored.    
  
Laura adjusted sideways to look directly at her wife, "Besides it gives us more time with Danny since she's one of the faculty reps on the council.  Spring training is here which means she'll be spending more time coaching in the evenings, which also means less time to see us."  Laura paused briefly and threw a glance over her shoulder to Danny who carried more chairs to the gymnasium floor, "And, though I shouldn't have to remind you of this, she made you some pretty, um, specific promises as to what you'd get in return if you came to help."  At that statement, Laura’s cheeks had flushed a pale pink and she readjusted to prepare for yet another take of her vlog.  
  
Carmilla's eyes glazed over and fluttered for a moment as Laura's comment made her conversation with Danny come back to memory.  With a lascivious smirk, Carmilla continued to ponder the fresh images that ran through her head, and armed with new distraction, squirmed in her chair for entirely different reasons.  
  
Laura rolled her eyes with a smirk and went back to record some daily vlog footage for her new channel "Laura 4 Legend", in which she does research and history on the secrets of the weird.    "As requested by some of you Legendaries, I’ve got some new merch available on my store page, guys!  Got a snap back, a hoodie, and a brand new letter opener that's a mini replica of the blade of Hostur!  Link in the description!”

* * *

Danny stood near the long tables set up and arranged at the front of the gym for the PTA council.  Engaged in an animated conversation with LaFontaine, Kirsch, and a few other teachers, Danny enthused about the annual long weekend camping trip, organized as a joint effort between the physical education and science department.    
  
Together with leaders from the local "Wolf pack Wilderness Group", the pamphlet read, “your student will learn about nature while they simultaneously learn fun and useful skills for survival in the real world!”  It was the brainchild of Danny, Kirsch, and LaF, and it never failed to enter conversation when any of them were together.  
  
Carmilla surveilled the scene with mild amusement when she realized that Science Spice wasn't quite so ginger as usual.  Patches of their hair was splattered with some sort of blue, sticky substance and even more of their shirt and pants had dried green sludge.  When LaF turned around to grab something from the table, Carmilla couldn't stifle a bark of laughter when she saw fluorescent pink hand prints on the seat of LaFontaine's pants where it was obvious they tried to wipe some sort of experiment off their hands.  
  
LaF and Danny both looked up at the noise from across the gymnasium.  Danny looked to see what Carmilla was laughing at and, when she saw, started to laugh herself.  She pointed the hand prints out to the science teacher.  
  
LaFontaine groaned loudly and ran their hand through their hair, tugging gently when whatever was on their hand seemed to stick to whatever was in their hair.  LaF then rubbed their temples, "Lab rats!  Lola is going to --"  
  
The gymnasium door opened and Lola Perry bustled through, her arms filled with bags and trays and three tubs of her famous brownies, "I'm going to do what, dear?"  Perry smiled up at the council tables with that sweet smile of hers and LaFontaine tried to contain their guilt (and the butterflies).  
  
"Swear to Nye she's got super hearing," LaFontaine murmured quietly to Danny before they smiled and squeaked, "Nothing, love!  Just saying that you were bringing three full tubs of your brownies this time!  There’s never any leftovers for me to take home!"

Perry smiled while she set out the various goodies and trays that she had the Kitchen Skills classes make throughout the day.  At the back, behind everything were three glorious piles of her extraordinary brownies.  Perry would never think of putting her baking first.  Everyone deserved to be appreciated.

* * *

Rick, a broad shouldered, heavily bearded man with a crew cut burst into the room.  The school principal clapped his hands loudly and called everyone to their seats.  Once the gymnasium full of parents got settled, he smiled broadly and opened the meeting.  "Welcome back, everyone!  Welcome back!  It’s been a few weeks since our last meeting.  This meeting will be easy but important!  Anyone have any pressing questions?”  Rick clapped his hands again to end his sentence.  Carmilla was certain he was a rodeo clown in a previous life. “Anyone have any new news? No? Good!  Like I said, this meeting should be simple, as the only thing on the list is the upcoming wilderness trip to cover so we will get started.  I'll leave the floor to Ms. Lawrence."

  
Carmilla would swear she heard a prissy little scoff from somewhere in the gym but as she turned around to figure out where it was coming from, Laura nudged her in the ribs and told her to pay attention.  Carmilla was sure that Laura would have shushed teachers had she not been home schooled.  Come to think of it, she probably did shush her dad a few times.  
  
Danny pushed off from where she had been leaning against the table and flashed the crowd a grin, "Thanks Rick!  As we all know the trip is coming up and we all know what that means -- fund raising!"  A collective groan from the crowd reverberated throughout the gym.  

With her hands held high in defense, Danny raised her voice to be heard and pushed forward, "I know, I know, it's the worst time of the year.  Fundraising usually means after school work for most of us because our kids give us that damn look that we are all suckers for and every single club is going to try take advantage of that for resources.  However this year is going to be a tad different and if it goes well, we’ll improve on the idea next year."

  
Another huff graced Carmilla's ears, but at the same time someone had a bit of a coughing fit so for a second time, Carmilla was unable to gather where the sound came from.  
  
"We have some starters and if anyone has any suggestions past that, we are definitely all ears.  This will be all new to us here on the faculty and won’t be perfect, but our goal is to get this trip a little more self-sustaining so that at least one student activity won't cost us blood or tears, and maybe just a little sweat.  If if goes well, we will be able to have more students participate with fewer costs to the households who have to be a bit more strategic with their resources."  
  
Danny beamed that million terawatt smile of hers and turned to prep some materials, while the rest of the PTA group seemed to chat excitedly amongst themselves.  
  
This time, Carmilla is certain she heard a high pitched whine from somewhere in the crowd.  “Harold, what does she mean?” Not only is she certain but Laura heard it too and shot a confused look to Carmilla.  Carm responded with a suspicious look and shrug and settled closer to Laura with her arm slung over Laura’s shoulders.  
  
Next, it was LaFontaine's turn to speak.  They stood up and grinned at the group, "Hey guys!  So the plans for funding are going to include several classes and several grades.  The hope is that of we can get the whole school in on this, then it can be a school spirit/learning combo, tricking our precious little lab rats into learning more than what is trending on twitter and which celebrity is sooooooo hot."  
  
The gym groaned comically and, upon hearing an indignant squeak, everyone looked around, puzzled at an unknown offended exclamation of,"hmph lab rats?!" followed by a gruff and stilted hush.  
  
LaF looked undeterred, "The first part of the plan comes from the physical education department and tradeskills courses.  Twice a month, rather than traditional gym class, students are going to... Well, we're going to essentially hire them out to local businesses to clean or paint or help repair something.  Those businesses will get a mention in our ad space in the newspaper that day and the businesses will make a donation to our school's rec fund.  So they get discounted advertising space, great PR, and we get money to utilize for school events.  Plus the kids get some experience out in the real world, which when I explained this to my classes, all students were disappointed to discover that tumblr did not count."  
  
A number of parents laughed, some hooted and cheered, and again one lone voice sneered "you want MY child to become a janitor twice a month?!"  
  
LaF laughed and smiled with the rest of the parents but Carmilla could see the frustration with that one naysayer crawl under their skin.  Danny must have seen it too since she stepped in rather quickly.  "We have other ideas like that, including using shop to make some sturdy furniture and decorations for auction at the district trade show, kitchen skills for bake sale goods, and even Dr LaFontaine is going to show the students how to make non-toxic flubber, along with other science goodies to sell at the show.  So yes, when you bring your families to the trade show, you’ll spend SOME money, but who wouldn’t pay for Ms. Perry’s fudge, let’s be honest here.”  
  
Again the parents all laughed and Laura shouted that she’s called dibs on the first four batches which caused Perry to blush and started a silly bidding war between several parents which culminated in a truce involving as many tubs of fudge Perry can make in an evening. (Carmilla thinks it’s probably in the triple digits.)  
  
At this point, a sound of what could only be described as a cross between judgemental garbage disposal and a constipated owl echoed across the gymnasium, followed immediately by "Helen!  Just be quiet..."

* * *

Between the noises obviously causing Laura and Danny to be upset, AND causing the meeting to take longer than usual (which would keep her from Danny’s promises), Carmilla had enough.  She stood quickly enough to launch her chair behind her with a loud clatter.  The whole PTA turned sharply to look at Carmilla but quickly redirected their gaze to where she was headed.  
  
In a few long, confident-- and franky predatory-- strides, Carmilla came next to an embarrassed man that had his nose pinched in between his fingers while the red-faced woman next to him muttered loudly (and at an irritating pitch) about propriety and what the world was coming to.    
  
Carmilla pointed a finger at the woman with disdain, "Lady, what the FUCK is your problem, lady?  I've never seen you before yet you just waltz in here just to make rude commentary?  Did you need a new hobby?" Carmilla leaned in closer to the stubby faced woman, "Bleeding can be your new hobby if you don't shut your trap, you old bat."  
  
Quickly Danny leapt away from the table and met Laura near Carmilla, each with a hand on their vampire.  Laura cleared her throat, "Oooo okay Carm, let's call a truce so we don't have to sell the children for bail."  
  
"SELL the CHILDREN?!  What kind of... Harold, where did we move to," Helen exclaimed, her voice a few octaves higher than before.  
  
Laura leveled a look at the pseudo hysterical woman in front of her.  "Seriously? You think I was being serious?  What kind of --"  Laura was cut off by a loud, sputtered gasp from Helen and was almost ready to call an ambulance when the woman started to screech at ear-splitting levels  
  
"You people expect MY child to do these things just for the sake of-of inclusion?  Just because some parents can't manage to take care of their children properly..." Helen huffed indignantly while Harold slowly and carefully inched his way away from his volatile wife.  
  
Danny furrowed her brow, with an obvious struggle to keep her fiery temper, "No Helen, we want your child to do this so that he can get some work experience and experience things that he might not get a chance to do.  Some businesses are even talking about a summer work program if this works out.  Plus it allows him to do something that will benefit someone other than himself, give him a sense of generosity and pride, as well as cooperation."  
  
"Why on earth would be want to do that at school?!  We do our volunteering!  I bake my grandmother's brownies for every bake sale!  I donate to charities every month!  Again, if this is because some of the so-called ‘parents’ at this school are too lazy to donate out of the kindness of their hearts like I do, I don't see why --"  
  
Some other teachers and parents stood and started to shout.  When Perry stepped in and attempted to maintain peace, the whole gymnasium (except Helen) settled quietly, "Now Helen, I understand some concerns you may have about having your son out in the workforce, off of school property, but the children are always in groups with teachers and chaperones." Perry spoke quietly and smiled warmly, all with the practiced air of someone trying to calm a wild beast.  
  
"Oh and I suppose you want parents to take time out of our busy schedules to come play babysitter?  Isn't that what we pay teachers for?" Helen sneered and glared at Danny.  
  
Laura's eyes widened and she yelped while her reflexes kicked in and she was able to keep both a snarling Carmilla and a growing Danny from tearing the poor woman to shreds, "No Hel--agh Danny no--Helen.  Teachers are paid to educate and prepare our children for the real worl--Carm, you're not helping--real world."  Laura spun around to glare at Helen while she managed to pinch both Danny and Carmilla on the soft skin under their arms.  The little bit of pain but obvious call for behaviour caused Danny and Carmilla to stand down.  Just a little, though, as they both stood to full height and crossed their arms with a look of intimidation.  

  
Helen polished her talon-like nails on her coat and then ran them through her mussed curls, "Then who would be monitoring my precious son?  Here and on this God forsaken camping trip?  If my boy comes back with one scratch on him --"  
  
The principal stepped in with a puffed out chest and spoke with what looked to be a bitter taste in his mouth, "We've never had any safety concerns from any of our," Rick paused and cleared his throat to emphasize, "volunteer parent chaperones.  Ms Lawrence and her family, Mr Kirsch, and the Perry's always always put the safety of the children first."  
  
Lola smiled brightly at Helen, "Yes!  It's such a fun time!  LaFontaine and I make sure the kids are fed and have their safety gear on, and we learn how to maintain hygiene with available supplies and--"  
  
Helen stood sharply and pointed at LaF, her voice spiralled and dripped with disdain, "You expect me to let my son be supervised by a p-- a pack of dy-- by a group of freaks who think a relationship with three of them is normal or- or- or healthy!  And all together at once?!  How do we know that there's no inappropriate cohabitation going on while the kids are around in tents?!"  
  
As Helen nearly hyperventilated, Harold had sighed while he stood up, squared his shoulders, and moved to stand behind his wife and put a hand on her shoulder to try calm her down.  Helen placed her hand on top of his and seemed to renew her strength while the rest of the group stood, incredulous.

* * *

  
  
Well, the rest of the group except Danny and Carmilla who were being held back by a tiny Laura.  Laura, however, looked like she was ready to release the pack on the insufferable, miserable woman.  
  
With a renewed vigour, and taking everyone's stunned silence as agreement, Helen pressed on. "As for you and your... Your 'wife', Mrs Perry, That woman can't even keep simple school projects from staining her hair!”  At this, LaFontaine stepped back and sat against one of the tables, unable to say a word.  
  
And still, Helen kept her rant at a high volume and cut off anyone who tried to interrupt, “She is constantly injured from one hare brained, poorly executed experiment after the other!  How often has she set the labs on fire?  How often have our children had to stand outside IN THE COLD due to the arrival of fire trucks and ambulances?”  Helen paused to take a needed breath as her face was almost purple.  

Then Helen pointed her clawed finger towards the tables where LaF sat, visibly upset, “SHE can hardly be responsible enough in a classroom setting, what kind of woman is she away from her work where she doesn't have to answer to a school board?!  What kind of NONSENSE is THAT WOMAN teaching our children?!  Plus this absolute rubbish about gender and pronouns?  That is just something I don't understand and it's unrealistic to expect ME to change how I address anyone, especially some high school science teacher with what I am sure are questionable credentials."

LaFontaine clenched their fists and teeth, flabbergasted.  It had been a long time since they had heard anything that ignorant from an adult.  The whole gymnasium was silent, unable to breathe a word.  LaF's face turned red and their shoulders drooped, too taken aback to even open their mouth let alone defend against any of the vitriol pouring out of the unhinged mother.  
  
The principal had a constipated look on his face, all the remainder of the parents had stood up and migrated behind the teachers.  Kirsch rushed to the front of the fray and tried to help Laura keep her wolf and panther at bay, though again both Laura and Kirsch were tempted to let Carmilla go and watch her eat the crazy bigot.  
  
Everyone stood like statues for a beat and then everyone started to talk at the same time.  Carmilla threatened to feed Helen her spleen, Danny said something about using her for bear bait, Kirsch shouted that her attitude was so not cool and she should chill, many of the upset parents shouted about the high quality of education and if she didn't like it, she could take a rude item and perform a rude action to a not-polite-in-public orifice.    
  
Even Laura had lost her cool and started shouting about how she and her family have done nothing but be supportive and accessible to the school and how dare Helen insult and insinuate something so brash when she didn't even know them.  There were hand gestures and her face did that bunched up angry thing that Carmilla so often teased her about.  
  
Then, just barely above a whisper, somewhere in the group a call for order was heard.  No one is sure how they heard but they did.  And it was done.  The gymnasium again was still except for two people that continued to shout.  

One was Carmilla who gesticulated wildly, a trait she picked up from Laura and Danny both, shouting about threats of multiple kinds including something about a Sumerian draining of the soul.  

  
The other was Helen who still ranted about lesbians, gender, threesomes, and something about PTA orgies to pledge souls to demons which she will not be a part of, thank you very much.  
  
Another moment passed and this time, before either party could start up another rant, Lola Perry cleared her throat.  She smiled sweetly and looked right at Carmilla, "Carmilla dear, that is enough.  Shouting is not communication."  
  
The vampire was about to balk at the suggestion until she saw Perry look at her with very startling calm and decided that listening to Vanilla Spice would be a good idea.  She could always eat the ignoramus later if it was needed. 

* * *

  
  
Perry wandered to the front where LaFontaine was still sitting against one of the tables, obviously too upset to talk. She placed a soft hand on LaF's shoulder and with a simple look asked how they were doing and to let them know that everything would be alright.    
  
Lola then turned (while keeping her hand comfortably on LaFontaine's shoulder) and peered at Helen with a serene smile and spoke with a quiet calm.   "Now Helen, I think we should all just calm down and speak rationally and express our grievances like the adults that we are and come to compromises.  It's all about communication, dear."  While Lola spoke, she walked towards Helen with her hands open and smiled even brighter once she stood in front of the beet-faced parent.  
  
The frumpy woman adjusted her glasses and attempted to smooth out her now frizzy hair.  After she took a second to further adjust her skirt, she squared her shoulders, puffed her chest, and obviously tried to pull out all the stops in trying to intimidate the quiet and meek redhead who dared speak to her.  
  
Oblivious to the crowd around them, neither Helen nor Perry saw Carmilla's eyes widen nor did they see her abruptly stop struggling against Laura and take several steps back.  Unprepared for Carmilla’s sudden move, Laura nearly toppled forward and when Danny and Kirsch moved to catch the tiny woman, they also noticed the distance Carm was putting between herself and the scene in front of them.  A one two beat barely passed before they too followed Carmilla's lead and dragged Laura with them.  
  
The whole group noticed and if anyone learned anything, it is that if Carmilla backed down from the confrontation, they should too.  The whole gymnasium took several large paces backward.  
  
Helen smiled with a wicked look, "Now Ms Perry, surely you understand where I'm coming from.  To come to this freakishly unconventional district after years as the head of the PTA in one of the most progressive areas... I am a generous and open minded woman but there is only so much a woman of my stature can understand, and, for the sake of all of the precious children, all that I'd be willing to ACCEP--"  
  
Perry raised her hand to quietly cut the woman off, eliciting an indignant scoff,  "Oh! I think I get it.  Now, I understand that you're a smart woman, Helen.  Correct?"  
  
Before Helen could answer, Perry pushed on, "With your understanding, can you tell me how to fix my plumbing?"  
  
This question threw Helen off guard and she looked at Perry with a confused look.  "What?  What does that have to do wit--"  
  
Perry pushed again, "With all your education and stature, surely you'll be able to explain to me how to fix a simple toilet, right?  Or how the engine in my car works, right?  And while you're at it, can you tell me what makes gravity work?"  
  
"Of course not, but how does that have any relev--"  
  
Perry interrupted yet again and her voice remained a soothing, calming tone, "Oh!  Yes, well, Silly me, you must then be able to tell me the credentials of your family physician?"  
  
Annoyed, Helen shook her head and started to raise her voice, "Really Ms Perry, I think these questions are ridiculous and impertinent to this conv--"  
  
This time, Perry interrupted at a higher volume, "What about your OVEN, Helen.  Do you UNDERSTAND how your oven works?"  
  
"Now that is just ridiculous!  Of course I don't know how my oven works, how to fix plumbing or your car, there is no need for me to know how gravity works, and I certainly don't understand what the exact credentials of our doctor is.  I have had enough of this.  What in blazes does any of this have to do with ANYTHING that we're talking abo--"  
  
Perry had interrupted one more time, with much more volume, and an unsettling quiver to her usually calm voice, "So, you don't understand how your car works yet still managed to make it here today.  GRAVITY still seems to be working on your head even though you don't understand it.  You have ABSOLUTELY no understanding of what your doctor does or why you even call them 'doctor', yet you still do blindly!"

Lola Perry paused and strode over to the refreshments table where she picked up Helen's 9x12 tray of brownies before she spun around again to face Helen once more, "AND you still bake the same DARN tasteless brownies from the same DARN Betty crocker box mix every GOSH DARN meeting and you lie to us and tell us it's your 'grammy's' recipe every GOSH DARN time!”  

* * *

 

At this, Perry’s voice cracked and everyone in the gymnasium flinched.  All of the bystanders had their hands over their mouths or clutched above their hearts.  Perry laughed with a sort of maniacal glee.  Carmilla grinned but then flinched and covered her ears once Perry started to shout, “I’VE SEEN YOU IN THE GROCERY STORE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY, HELEN.  A lack of understanding hasn’t stopped you from forcing these cocoa flavoured sawdust bricks down our throat, so don't give me that darned misunderstanding BULLPOO as a defense for your ignorance and bigotry!  I will absolutely not tolerate it."  
  
Helen gasped loudly and started sputtering like an old engine and had a look on her face like she had been physically slapped.  Just she opened her mouth to respond, this time Perry screamed her interruption at high volume, gripped the pan of brownies and hurled it with intense force across the gym where it hit the far corner of metal bleachers and ricocheted onto the floor, a trail of dry, bland brownies left behind.  
  
Everyone jumped and followed the sound of the pan hitting the metal bleachers then slowly turned back to Perry, eyes wide and wild, previously perfect red curls wild and frizzy, into something like a halo.  
  
"NO.  Unless you have something nice to say, you will not say anything at all.  It is not a crime to not understand something.  We are in a school!  That is how everyone starts!”  Perry paused to take a deep breath and calm herself.  She moved her hands as though she was pulling some invisible calm towards her.  After a deep breath, she continued, “What is unacceptable however is using that ignorance to fuel bigotry and hatred for something so non invasive as someone else’s gender or sexuality!  Especially since the people you have so unfairly judged have done nothing, NOTHING, but give everything of themselves for the benefit of education for the children.  Our children. Your child!  So no, I will not tolerate that in these walls.”    
  
Then she smiled a truly terrifying smile, one that had Carmilla’s hackles up and set Danny’s eyes wider.  Perry leaned closer to Helen, so that only Helen could hear her next words, “And you will never, ever speak of Lafontaine again.  They are MY smart, funny, kind, beautiful, handsome, crazy, and very sexy partner.  MY LaFontaine.  And if you ever put your mouth near their name again without something kind to say, I will come speak with you again.  Privately.  And we wouldn't want that now, would we?"  
  
And then suddenly that was the end of that.  Perry turned around and clucked disapprovingly at the mess she had made with the unfortunate pan of brownies and started to tidy up.  
  
The whole gymnasium was silent for at least a full minute while everyone digested the fact that their peace loving Perry just flipped her lid then went back to quiet as though nothing happened.  Danny’s hand ruffled through her hair and pulled it back from her face.  Laura’s jaw hung open and her eyes were as wide as dinnerplates.  Carmilla laughed loudly and started to make her way to the refreshments.  
  
Harold quickly hid his smirk and started to make his way to the door.  Helen turned on him like a rabid beast, “HAROLD, WHERE do you think you’re taking your lazy ass?  Get back here!  This needs to be discussed!  Don’t you DARE walk out on this, you useless--”

Harold stopped and spun around, “THAT. IS. ENOUGH.  I am done.  DONE.  I am going to go pick up Ethan and take him to your sister’s place.  While I’m doing that, you can take your pompous, ignorant ideas and your henpecking and your negative attitude and those ugly curtains and your nail appointments and your lawn maintenance and your sour grapes to your mother’s place.  I’m going to my mother’s place!  And tomorrow, if we’re all settled and calm, we can go get Ethan some new shoes for upcoming activities.  AND if you don’t like it, we can certainly discuss it.  With a lawyer.”

With that, Harold spun around again and stormed out of the gymnasium.  Helen was about to make one more remark when she caught sight of Perry staring at her.  All words seemed to dry up in her throat and she quickly scuttled off after her husband.

* * *

All at once, the gymnasium burst into motion.  People whispered between themselves, clearly enthralled by the new gossip they just had front row seats to.  A few of parents stopped by the front of the gym to ask a still shellshocked LaFontaine about volunteering for the trip.  One mother offered a free haircut since the stuff in LaF’s hair was in the process of switching colour.

The crowd of parents decided to head home, content with bellies full of Perry’s brownies and enough gossip to tide them over for the week.  
  
Perry continued to clean up the mess of brownies in a quiet corner of the gym and was surprised when she looked up and saw Carmilla holding the thrown pan while Danny and Laura brought over a garbage can and another broom.  “Oh.  Well.  Yes.  Thank you, Carmilla.  That’s-That’s quite kind of you to help with clean up.”  
  
Carmilla chuckled and looked at the dented pan before she handed it to Laura, who with wide eyes gave it to Danny.  “I’m not usually one for kindness, Martha Stewart.  I wanted to make sure you got this pan before anyone else saw it.”  
  
Perry’s brows knitted together in confusion, “I’m not sure what you mean, Carmilla?  Laura?  Danny? What does she mean?”

Laura took the pan back from Danny and held it up to Perry.  There were no dents from the floor, or the wall, or the bleachers.  The only indentations in the 9x12 baking pan were from four delicate fingers and one delicate thumb.  It looked like the sturdy metal of the pan had been crumpled like paper.  Laura turned to where the pan had ricocheted and saw that the bleachers had a deep dent and the wall had a chunk gone from where the pan had hit it.

Carmilla was about to ask what the hell when LaFontaine meandered over to the group and put their hand on the small of Perry’s back.  Perry looked at the girls, started to hum a peaceful little tune and simply smiled.  “Oh, look at the time!  We should get this cleaned up.  Carmilla, will you help with the chairs? And would one of you go tell Rick that I can come help with the bleacher repair tomorrow?  I have to help my LaFontaine clean whatever goop out of their hair and wherever else they managed to get … messy.”  
  
LaFontaine turned a bright, fire-engine red and decided that the best course of action was to finish their tasks at the school as quickly as possible.  
  
Carmilla caught Lola’s cheeky little smirk and turned around to finish with cleanup.  She wanted to annoy Perry by not helping with her measure of chores but then Carmilla looked up at the beautiful, cheery ginger and decided that she never EVER wanted to annoy Lola Perry ever again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr user iamnotamuffin asked an important otp question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies.
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>  
> 
> I tweaked it a tad, but let’s have at it. This is my first published fic. Ever! Kind criticism is welcome. This was not beta'd so please let me know if you find any mistakes!


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